Review of: Domina Und Sub

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Domina Und Sub

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BDSM: Eine Domina erklärt, was wichtig ist

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And people say here say that they are open minded within the BDSM community…. Before I go on, why is it socially ok in the BDSM culture for the following:.

What is a legitimate reason why? The last time I checked, BDSM went against the norms of society…we are free to make our own choices…free to do our own thing…WITHOUT being judged and allowing ourselves to be accepted.

So, now I ask the community as a whole…please tell me, please explain to me, with a mature and logical argument why submissive hetero-sexual males are not accepted in BDSM culture.

If there is no reason, then people need to re-examine their beliefs and themelves, for their hypocricies. And I say that with the nicest of intentions and with the sweetest of smiles, of course….

So I ask, so what, if a male submissive has emotions where they want to express themselves to their Dominant female?

So what if a male wants to submit to a female? Who are you to judge? So what, if they like to be beaten? You like to beat your submissive too.

So what, if male submissives want to talk about things that most males cannot talk about, but females can? So what, if they…so on and so forth… Who are you to judge?

You do things against societal norms as well. You do things that break the law as well. You do things that go against moral codes as well.

As a matter of fact, I believe male hetero-sexual submissives are stronger than most because they are able to admit to themselves within this society that they are what they are, going against the grain.

So the next time someone wants to say a male submissive is a pansy…maybe they should really look within because the fact is, that person would never be able to handle that reality themselves….

I could go on…but I think I have made my points very clear…. Which brings me to my next point…. In my opinion, the most mis-judged female….

You ignorant, self-absorbed, egotistical, oxygen thief. And you wonder why FemDoms are always pissed off and take offense to and at most male Dominants?

You wonder why most FemDoms get ready to do battle when a male Dom when they walk into the room? Once again, if you looked outside of the social and societal norms of what you were raised with, maybe, just maybe, you would see that we, just like you; have our own preferences.

And guess what? How would you like it, if every FemDom you met said the same to you every first meeting you had with them? Now you know how we as Female Dominants feel.

And OH DEAR GOD!!! Not every FemDom is a paid Dominatrix!!! Just as the male hetero-sexual submissives are often, misunderstood, so often to are the Female Dominants; especially ones who are NOT dominatrixes.

All too often, if a Female is a Dominant, she is automatically classified as a Dominatrix and that is not always the case and some take great offense to it.

While some females choose to do BDSM as a profession, which is their choice, others, like myself, choose to never go down that path and are offended when it is even mentioned.

Because, personally, I do not need to sell my physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual self in order to complete or follow my BDSM journey.

If others do, that is their path, but for people like me, we do not want to be lumped into the category of a Dominatrix as we find it to be their path and not ours.

In reference, that would be like calling a Dominant a submissive. It is quite upsetting to the receiver and quite unwanted and unwarranted, unless trying to upset the person.

I play with my boys and girls because I want to, because I crave them, because they crave me, because of our relationship, because of our connections, because…etc….

I do not play because I need to pay a bill or because of a paycheck. I do not play to work. This is not work. BDSM is play to me. BDSM is a release to me.

BDSM is fun to me. BDSM is a joy to me. It is common for writers to capitalise the "D" in Dominant but leave the "s" in lowercase for the submissive.

The dominant and submissive relationship fits within the overarching term of BDSM and its lifestyle.

Therefore, many in the BDSM community do not fit the criteria. It is possible that this community of BDSM participants was formed in the early 18th century and maybe even before.

For example, the dominant and submissive partnership has been shown in early versions of the Kamasutra. Their actions show severe sadomasochism as well as the early onset behaviors of the community.

Currently, the relationship between a dominant and submissive revolves around consent and guidelines.

Within the world of BDSM, consent is a core focus and requirement because it is what separates sexual sadism from coercive sexual sadism disorder in the DSM Sexual Sadism Disorder and Sexual Masochism Disorder have been changed in order to show the differentiation of consensual vs.

The inner conflict and surrender connected with dominance and submission are enduring themes in human culture and civilization.

In human sexuality, this has broadened to include mutual exploration of roles, emotions, and activities that would be difficult or impossible to act out without a willing partner taking an opposing role.

A study suggests that only about 30 percent of participants in BDSM activities are females. Recent research shows that a minority of the population engages or fantasizes about BDSM activity.

A safeword is usually given to the submissive partner to prevent the dominant from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries. It is usually a code word, series of code words or other signal used to communicate physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a boundary.

Safewords can have differing levels of urgency - some may bring a scene to an outright stop, whereas others may indicate that a boundary is being approached.

A safeword may be used by the Dominant as well as the Submissive if they feel things have gone too far and are uncomfortable continuing.

It is usually a negotiated lifestyle, with people discussing their wishes, limits , and needs in order to find commonality. Most adherents search for the essential intensity, trust, and intimacy that are required to make any deep relationship possible.

BDSM is the sexual practices of bondage and torture, dominant and submissive, as well as sadomasochism. In addition to "dominant" and "submissive", a "switch" is a person who can take either role.

Most of the time in sexual relationships like this there is some sort of power exchange through their physical interaction. In contrast, the terms top and bottom refer to the active agent and passive patient roles, respectively.

In a given scene, there is no requirement that the dominant also be the top, or that the submissive be the bottom, although this is often the case.

The term vanilla refers to normative "non- kinky " sex and relationships, the vanilla world being mainstream society outside of the BDSM subculture.

The term comes from vanilla ice cream being considered the "default" flavor. Power exchange is consensual and in reality, it is the submissive that has the underlying control during the relationship exchange.

The dominant is attempting to satisfy the submissive's kinks and desires. The terms top and bottom are used as verbs or nouns to describe the physical play of SM but with less of a focus of the "sadist" and "masochist" part of the activity.

They can be used as synonyms for dominant and submissive. It can also be used to describe a club where these activities take place. It can also be a place to practice kinks safely and learn how to carry out activities and play.

The term dungeon monitors is used as a description of well-trusted BDSM members that volunteer to monitor dungeons and look out for infractions, distress, or any other form of misconduct or non-consent.

The term flogger is used to describe a tool or whip used in sexual scenes. The action of flogging refers to impact play. Usually made of leather with a hard handle and multiple long flat strands attached.

The term can also be used to describe the person holding the specialized whip. It was popularized in internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about.

Also, some submissives eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl".

This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty, but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing a submissive during "play".

It may have roots in the military , where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit", rather than "I" or "me".

Relationships may be monogamous or polyamorous. Fantasy role play can be an element, with partners taking classic dominant or submissive roles, or classic authority-figure roles such as teacher and student, police officer and suspect, or parent and child.

These variations may include:. Some examples are:. Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways.

Some employ a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a simple verbal commitment is sufficient.

There are many versions of consent but mainly it is the knowledge between the partnership of who plays the dominant role and who plays the submissive.

As well as the fact that all erotic experiences are performed in a safe, legal, and consensual practice as well as benefiting both parties.

Surface consent has been defined as a simple yes or no. The BDSM community have a simple code of conduct concerning the boundaries of safety and negotiation to ensure consensual BDSM.

Negotiation in terms of the sexual scenes is required to ensure that the BDSM play is enjoyable and safe for both parties involved. The discussion of what activities are available and the mutual definition of the play is the only way both the dominant and submissive will be able to comfortably perform.

Safewords are verbal codes both partners can recognize as the end or altering of activities done in a BDSM scene.

It is an important asset to continue the consent through the relationship and scene itself. All of it ensures a safe space where both participants are able to enjoy the sexual play.

The BDSM community takes consent very seriously and promotes safe play. They also provide public playrooms with dungeon monitors to make sure the rules are kept and followed.

Although they take all the precautions to the events, coercion and sexual assault still occur inside and outside the community. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom NCSF is an educational organization that is driven to propose positive and safe sex that was founded in That being said just because someone participates in a dominant and submissive relationship does not mean they will eventually be sexually assaulted or coerced.

Consensual non-consensuality is a mutual agreement to act as if consent has been waived within safe, sane limits. It is an agreement that consent is given in advance, sometimes without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned, though within defined limits subject to a safeword, reasonable care, common sense, or other restrictions.

The consent is given with the intent of its being irrevocable under normal circumstances. As such, it is a show of extreme trust and understanding and is usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear, safe limits on their activities.

It is not unusual to grant consent only for an hour or for an evening. When a scene lasts for more than a few hours, it is common to draft a "scene contract" that defines what will happen and who is responsible for what.

It is a good way to work out what all the parties want and usually improves the experience. Some contracts can become quite detailed and run for many pages, especially if a scene is to last a weekend or more.

For long term consent, a "slave contract" may be drawn up. BDSM "contracts" are only an agreement between consenting people and are usually not legally binding; in fact, the possession of one may be considered illegal in some areas.

Some ceremonies become quite elaborate, and can be as involved as a wedding or any similar ritual. Some people maintain a special room or area, called a dungeon or playroom, that contains special equipment, such as shackles , handcuffs , whips , queening stools , and spanking benches or a Berkley horse , for example, used for play scenes, or they may visit a BDSM club that maintains such facilities.

Many submissives in a submissive relationship wear a collar to indicate their submissive status and commitment. It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one.

The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed, and even crafted by the dominant partner.

Some subs may wear a "symbolic collar", often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in non-BDSM situations.

It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions.

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